Techipedia | Tamar Weinberg - Latest Comments in Quantum Entanglements: The Social Media Scandals

Re: Quantum Entanglements: The Social Media Scandals

dotlizard — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 14:23:44 -0000

Offhand, I'd say this is the single best bit of information we've gotten in this whole mess. I'm sure that it is fraud, but it is extremely difficult to get a fraud prosecution started on something like this, where the evidence is scattered across the internet and many of the victims may not even realize they were victimized - such is the nature of crimes that take advantage of the emotionally fragile.

I'd say that Gabrielle and LillyBarb were involved, unless Gabrielle set up all her mom's profiles and handled them up until the time things switched to the "I'm logging in as my mom and she needs help" etc. Seems likely that it's turned into a family business at this point.

I think the most challenging aspect of trying to prosecute such crimes would be the majority of victims not wanting to identify as victims, since in doing so they forfeit any illusion of benefit they may have gotten from the situation - and illusory benefits are important to the emotionally distressed.

Your direct personal knowledge would be a great help towards putting together a case that would have the possibility of being prosecuted.

Re: Quantum Entanglements: The Social Media Scandals

Casey — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 03:14:07 -0000

I've personally know Barb Calandrello for many years and just came across her facebook and her myspace and her websites and can't believe that this isn't considered fraud altogether. But in reviewing her facebook page, all her personal info is valid. Her children's names, ages, hometowns are valid as well but 3 of the four children are from her first marriage so their last name is different. The photo is a fake, of course as are her credentials but is this something the feds need to look into? Did Gabrielle set up the scam herself or did her mother? Unfortunately, her children have had a diffucult upbringing and none of them have not been part of a sound family unit. Their living conditions are far below what Lilly would have everyone think. So all of her followers are being duped except for the fact that she definitely has a talent for marketing to those that are in emotional distress. It is a widespread business that is collecting millions of dollars and not just by Barb/Lilly.

Re: Quantum Entanglements: The Social Media Scandals

Marianne — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 18:03:44 -0000

I went to Homewood Flossmoor HIgh School with Barb Olson, aka Barbara Calendrello aka Lilly Calendrello. She turned 45 in December and graduated in 1982. . .

Re: Quantum Entanglements: The Social Media Scandals

antuan — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 07:07:03 -0000

Check out the trust index of the social networks and media at www.trust-index.com

Trust-index

You can add any item you want to be rated by people all over the world. Express your trust, and check out what others think about.

Re: Quantum Entanglements: The Social Media Scandals

tamar — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 13:42:03 -0000

I'm not 100% sure if she was involved in HARO (maybe Kelly knows?), but I'm hearing as of today from Connie Reece that she's back.

I suppose unsuspecting individuals should prepare to get scammed.

Re: Quantum Entanglements: The Social Media Scandals

Karen Swim — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 13:38:32 -0000

Thank you so much for this post. This breaks my heart but I am also wiser for reading. Is this the same woman who was kicked off HARO for nasty behavior? Her name sounds familiar but maybe that's just from Plurk or Twitter. Since I would never lie about who I am or my needs this kind of stuff always surprises me.

Re: Quantum Entanglements: The Social Media Scandals

dotlizard — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 22:01:23 -0000

she called herself LillyAnn but a little digging by a helpful commenter on my original research blog post revealed that she was not, in fact, a 44 year old woman named LillyAnn, but a 51 year old woman named Barbara. LillyAnn would be a nickname/alias/whatever.

my usage of LillyBarb was entirely snarky.

Re: Quantum Entanglements: The Social Media Scandals

Liz — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 09:30:04 -0000

From an outsider's point of view, an interesting blog post about Internet deception...I didn't know about the Kaycee Nicole incident.

I am a little confused by the fact that some people call this woman LilyAnn and others LilyBarb....is this the same person?

Re: Quantum Entanglements: The Social Media Scandals

caile-girl — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 23:24:13 -0000

Thanks so much for the in-depth article and the advice to wait until one has evidence either to support or negate someone's claims online. I usually follow my gut (it's there for a reason, I think) and I almost instantly reacted against the Lilly issue, and she was one of my "mutuals" on SU. As much as I'd have loved to help had I felt she was truly in need, there was just too much that was immediately and obviously strange about the whole thing.

I get upset, however, when people abuse others' compassion and trust, so that truly honest, sincere and needy people may end up paying the price in the future.

Thanks again for such a great article.

Cheers,
caile~

Re: Quantum Entanglements: The Social Media Scandals

Steven Bradley — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 13:58:41 -0000

Thanks for this post. I saw the messages pass by on Plurk and my initial reaction was to want to help. I replurked things a couple of times and had thought of donating, but the more I started thinking about it the more things didn't add up.

I kept wondering why a personal growth expert seemed to fall apart emotionally in every message and I also knew no medical treatment would be denied. The worst case was someone would be saddled by bills after, but it was clear no one needed my money in order to have life saving surgery.

I stopped replurking and deciding against contributing any money and figured I'd wait to see what came of things. If it had turned out to be true the money would be needed down the line anyway and not right away.

After a few days and no more mentions I kind of assumed the whole thing was a scam. I'm glad to see this post shedding more light on the situation.

We all know scams like this exist and will continue to exist, but it's still sad to see people preying on the sympathies of others to make a few bucks.

Re: Quantum Entanglements: The Social Media Scandals

Beamer — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 19:41:54 -0000

@ Opergal - Allright, I will Give you the very real possibility of the scam artists plying their F'ed up trade for a very long time, but you have to give me the fact that the Virus is a trend that would have never seen the light of day if it hadn't been for the Lovely Internet.

I know quite a few College students with semester long reports with proper footnotes and references duly noted that didn't help them one bit, due to the fact that they were totally screwed by some damn virus.

Still, that doesn't give some one in this day and age the right to play on our fears STILL. When, or do we ever, evolve past screwing royally our fellow man?

Beamer

Re: Quantum Entanglements: The Social Media Scandals

opergal — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 06:55:35 -0000

@Beamer - but that type of scam has gone on for at least 100 years - I have old copies of Delineator magazine where there are similar "sob story-mail 10 cents to help" type adverts in the back.

Around here, we see an amazing proliferation of very high-quality posters of sad-looking children. Supposedly local, with please "visit XYZ site and donate so Tommy/Janie/Susie can see another birthday".

And I always wonder - if you are SO hard up for $$, who paid for the fancy 11x14 glossy posters, and the hosting, and the web dev? Prove to me it all was donated, and then we can talk.

I hate having to be that cynical.

Re: Quantum Entanglements: The Social Media Scandals

Ramts — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 18:44:14 -0000

I am too one of the SU persons who reviewd the LillyAnns doughters plight page. I saw the review of it in some of the friends blog, and requested even my other friends to contribute to her. I feel very sory for it now.

Re: Quantum Entanglements: The Social Media Scandals

Internet Marketing Joy — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 18:37:30 -0000

I guess we can never really rule out this one especially that we are not really meeting the person face to face...that's why we have to be extra careful before we trust persons we just met online.

Re: Quantum Entanglements: The Social Media Scandals

dotlizard — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 13:19:53 -0000

(sigh) oh, Beamer, i'm sorry the world has got so complex. used to be, if a con artist wanted your money he had to be right there, up close and personal. this doesn't mean our ancestors had less to be wary of, they just had different things.

see back in the day, it was the archetypical "snake oil salesman" who roamed the wild west selling magical potions and elixirs off the back of his buckboard -- the townspeople were still taken in, but it took a LOT more effort. perhaps i shouldn't have implied that doing due diligence on LillyBarb was such hard work, when you consider the trials and tribulations endured by the con men and the sheriffs who would run them out of town, back in those good old days. that was hot sweaty work for all involved, and all we did was sit at our computers and click things.

but, the fact is, technology does make it easier -- it doesn't require taking your show on the road in order to find fresh, unsuspecting victims. maybe because we can just sit at our computers, we're lowering the threshold, and more people will cross it and become scammers? possibly.

when you contrast this with the benefits: the availability of information, the connections, the amazing friendships that are made possible by the technology of the new millennium, i'd say it's totally worth it.

just be as careful as you would if someone sidled up to you on a bus bench and said, 'hey look i won this lotto ticket but i'm not a citizen. i'll sell it to you for half the winnings, and you can go cash it in!'. you know? be careful out there. we've always had to be careful out there. we just have to adapt, grow, and evolve in the ways we take care.

Re: Quantum Entanglements: The Social Media Scandals

Beamer — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 03:11:27 -0000

"in this case it took extensive research by a good number of people (who contributed in threads on Plurk and on my research blog posts), to uncover the truth. it isnt easy, but it is worth the effort."

I'm tired, so I hope this comes across the way I mean for it to: The above quote, the amount of energy and time and human thought and thinking that goes into such an endeavor, both the "good" side and the "evil" side, just staggers me.

I don't find it much different in the fact that someone spends countless hours becoming a great software wiz only to create a virus that will wipe out countless hours and gigabytes of much needed data from hapless victims.

I mean, we are in the year 2008. Did our parents or grandparents live their lives having to worry about such crap? (Viruses and scams) I don't think so. We are making progress here right, on this great invention of Man called the Internet?

We are creating a better environment for our children, right? Or are they going to have to be even more consumed with keeping a wary eye out for the works of their fellow human being?

I really sometimes wonder about the deep thinking processes of some of my fellow human beings, Scary stuff at times. And you don't even have to pay admission to a horror movie.

Beamer

Re: Quantum Entanglements: The Social Media Scandals

tamar — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 15:09:33 -0000

It takes time. I don't expect it to happen overnight -- you may have to deal with some back and forth communication, etc.

Re: Quantum Entanglements: The Social Media Scandals

dotlizard — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 15:04:28 -0000

i think some of the folks who helped uncover this have made a few preliminary contacts, but nothing organized. and to my knowledge, nothing's been taken down yet. (sigh)

Re: Quantum Entanglements: The Social Media Scandals

tamar — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 14:34:30 -0000

No, you're being perfectly rational. Copyright theft is copyright theft, whether it happens before or after a scandal is unraveled.

I'd also talk to the people where the content is located and have the content (specifically those that are making her a profit) removed.

Either way, it certainly is a violation of the Digital Millennium Copyright Agreement (DMCA) and if the rightful owners of the content come up, she can be held legally accountable in a court of law.

Re: Quantum Entanglements: The Social Media Scandals

dotlizard — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 14:29:20 -0000

correction: the aforementioned kind soul on Stumble has clarified that she is not trying to advocate for giving money, which i inferred from her previous message. i just wanted to make that clear, i would never want to misrepresent someone's intentions.

i'm beginning to think that a concerted effort needs to be done to notify the copyright holders of the stolen content. i know a few people have sent a few emails here or there, but the very fact that LillyBarb's close associate is quietly reaching out to people he perceives as sympathetic to his cause tells me that this unrepentant fraud is going to continue until someone makes it stop.

the fact she's not made the effort to take down any of the stolen content suggests she has no intention to change the way she makes money. am i just being reactionary and fussy right now?

Re: Quantum Entanglements: The Social Media Scandals

tamar — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 14:17:01 -0000

I am in complete agreement with you, Kelly. Please do send this blog URL to the "kind soul on StumbleUpon" so she knows what we think of her plight.

Re: Quantum Entanglements: The Social Media Scandals

dotlizard — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 14:00:50 -0000

i have just finished typing a lengthy message to a kind soul on StumbleUpon who has taken it upon herself to speak up for LillyBarb. She has contacted Dave, and she has been copying his correspondence into messages to me, in which she is basically advocating for giving money to LillyBarb, because lots of people are uninsured, and she has real needs, etc etc. her tone in contacting Dave has caused him to open up in the most sorrowful terms, lamenting the 'feeding frenzy' on Plurk and why would these people attack poor LillyBarb?

this kind Stumbler has likened this situation to giving a few dollars to a homeless man on the street, even though he might drink with the money, she does not judge. i wrote back in no uncertain terms that i often give money to panhandlers but i refuse to hand over my money, earned honestly, to someone who has been stealing the content of others for financial gain for years, and using it to represent her skills as a counselor. Not to mention posting articles on Squidoo, and receiving direct compensation for *stolen* essays. this is not a poor, pathetic soul crying out for help and a bottle of Thunderbird, this is a sophisticated scammer who got caught short.

at this point the medical needs are a moot point to me. i'm sure the criminals of this world would all like it very much if honest, hard-working people were to take up the cause of helping them in their time of need, no questions asked. i fail to see any virtue in that sort of giving.

Re: Quantum Entanglements: The Social Media Scandals

tamar — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 12:43:58 -0000

Just a small and related observation:

Last week, after learning the details of this scandal, I asked DaveJazzHound, who I noticed was hounding (no pun intended) people's profiles about helping Lilly via StumbleUpon, if he knew about the truth to her ailments.

Dave said, and I quote:

"Greetings Tamar,
Yes, I know her personally. No, the Lupus disease of which she suffers from is not a scam. It is very real and usually fatal. You can read all about her long battle with this disease from her blog here on SU and the links I have supplied. Feel free to contact me if have any more questions.
Sincerely,
Dave"

So I followed up with him, because yes, I did have more questions. I asked him if he's absolutely sure of her illness and if he can give me proof that LillyAnn is in the hospital. I also linked him to the Plurk discussion where the truth was unfolding.

That was on July 15th.

I received no response and made sure that I published this blog post, thanks to Kelly.

Silence often speaks louder than words. In this case, I think Dave proved that this is nothing but a scam, and I feel sorry for all those people who fell for it. I also feel sorry for Dave, LillyBarb, and anyone else who thinks it's appropriate to manipulate the minds and take advantage of trust within such close knit communities. I hope this serves as a lesson for everyone, though it may be a rather rude awakening for some.

Re: Quantum Entanglements: The Social Media Scandals

dotlizard — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 12:32:05 -0000

that's actually a really excellent way to expose a lie, in fact in the LillyBarb case, someone offering to send flowers was a catalyst for the discussion that led to us discovering the deception. i think it also played a major role in the outing of Kaycee Nicole, but my memory may be hazy on that and there is a lot of the original story that's been completely erased from the internet.

it is a very polite way to make sure there's something really going on, and not another sob story.

Re: Quantum Entanglements: The Social Media Scandals

QualityGal — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 10:53:53 -0000

I've witnessed this sort of thing on a much smaller scale in an online game community I've been a part of for over 5 years. For reasons we can't even begin to fathom, people decided to play on our sympathies and claim to have fatal diseases or debilitating accidents. We had to actually make a rule that we would not take up collections or send gifts to people because we'd been made fools that way before. While I was never able to afford to send financial support, I felt really hurt that I'd invested a lot emotionally... the first time.

Now I'm always suspicious of a sob story. I hate being that way, but I am. If a teenager in the community claims his mother died, and his father is already gone, I ask him where her funeral is being held so that we can send a card and flowers. It's a non-accusatory way we can get "proof" that we're not being scammed.